Ya so that guy I was talking about now wants me to delete my last blog. F**k that!!! I will however correct some of the info that he now has decided to share with me. The girl he as been cheatin on me with for this last month or so is the one that has been spending the night while I was away and she doesn't have diseases (apparently). I also find out that he didn't have enough balls to ask me if I was cheating on him with a friend of mine while I was over visiting my mom. OMG!!! Just freaking ask!!! Aren't you supposed to communicate when you are in a relationship? Aren't you supposed to have faith in that person? At least I asked questions when I suspected, probably not the right ones, but I still asked. And now he wants to be friends..... I don't know about that let me wait about 1yr or forever before I decide.

 

               

               

So I had been going out with this guy for almost 2 years. When we first started out it was great we started out all hot and heavy. Then just this last saturday I find out that not only has he cheated on me again but has been cheating on me for the past month and a half with some girl that barely turned 18. He apparrently he almost got her pregnant TWICE. Oh and on top of all of this he also cheated on me during christmas last year AND (this is the worst part) he had girls stay overnight while I was away visiting my mom in another town. The freaking a**hole all this time has lied to my face and possible exposed me to the Lord knows what diseases. I just don't get why he didn't break up with me instead of lying. It would have saved me a lot of heartache and possibly left our friendship intact but now I can't trust him worth a sh*t. I just hope that the girl he is with now has better luck with him than his previous 2 girlfriends. This seems to be a pattern with him. I hope to heaven that he can break his pattern and that he finds happiness somewhere with someone but I don't think that will happen soon. He needs to find happiness with himself first and be happy about who and what he is. Anyways enough venting.  I will talk atcha later.

Today is my unhappy anniversary.

The day that I was damaged forever (I think).

Exactly six years ago today. My bestfriend (at the time) left without saying goodbye, giving me a hug, or saying "I love you." I called him daddy then. Thats right my bestfriend was none other than my very own father. That Sunday afternoon on February 11th, 2006 my father went out with his friend and then flew to Florida. He didn't leave a note explaining why or if he was coming back.

The next time that I spoke to him was on my sixteenth birthday. The bastard completely out of the blue called me and made me cry on my birthday.

Anyways....

I have talked to him a few times since then. The last time I talked to him was the day before he got married (AGAIN!!!). Yeah he had the nerve to invite me to his wedding. After he got married I could not get a hold of him at all.

Whatever...

What is done is done. It doesn't matter how messed up or hurtful it was; its in the past. But as I realized what day it was today I had a revelation. I really could care less if that jerk ever talks to me again. Cuz just like a bad breakup, I'm over him. Yeah it still hurts a little to think about all the bull he put me through but, the divine couple above didn't allow this to happen just to break me down. I learned a lot from this experiance.

Myspace Layouts
 

Even my fiance has hurt me (in more ways than he knows) but, I think without this experiance with my father I would have given up on our relationship completely. So like the saying goes:

Myspace Layouts

      So I Just got done watching "As Good As It Gets." My fiance was sleeping right next to me. I was cuddling up to him. Any who... As the movie ended I started to cry. When the movie ended I looked at him and I was just overcome with emotion. I don't know exactly what the emotion was but it was strong. So strong that it brought me to tears. All I know is that just from those few moments I could tell that I am submersed into something that I can't tell what it is. I'm in love, I know that. But I think that I'm a little over my head with this. I don't know what I'm going to do but I know that I'm going to figure it out and make all of this work for both of us. I will do my best to make him happy as well as myself.